There are towns scattered all over this great United States that have yearly festivals that celebrate town unity. These festivals are usually dedicated to something that the region if known for, such as soybeans or corn. Well, our hometown has a festival too. It’s the Pig Festival, it only happens once a year, and it’s an unreal pork paradise! There’s a local competition every year that centers on pork-themed dishes, and I plan on winning with one of the most insane things ever cooked by mortal man. I’m going to create Bacon on Bacon Crime. I’ve even got some awesome bacon t-shirts made to support my cause.
If you are a huge animal activist or a vegetarian, you should probably turn back now, because our pig festival is all about the divine swine. The highlight of the festival is the cooking contest, where the only rule is that pork has to be the main ingredient. People come from miles around to try unique and creative dishes that are prepared for sampling and judging. You can literally get full, just from walking around and taking a bite of each dish. Contestants always make pork or bacon t-shirts to hand out, and the whole thing has become something of a ceremony.
All of the restaurants enter teams to compete each year, and many have won multiple times…especially the places the specialize in smoked bar-b-que. No favoritism is showed and many locals have won as well, since all of the judges are semi-famous local celebrities from out-of-town. I am entering for the third time this year, and I already have my awesome bacon t-shirts made. My recipe is home-made goodness, and I really feel like a titan coming into this competition this year.
My dish this year is going to be an undefeatable monster. I have created a ranch-style rub that I will treat my bacon with, and then weave it into a flat sheet of bacon awesomeness. I will then make another sheet of bacon…and then another, just for bacon’s sake. I will have a layer of sharp cheddar cheese in between each bacon layer. First, however, the bacon will be cooked by smoking it for several hours. I will then roll the bacon/cheese layers up and slice them to create bacon pinwheels. I will then make the most amazing BLT sandwiches in the world from these. I will then win. People will be wearing my bacon t-shirts and chanting my name.
I think that after I bring out several of these massive bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches that are served on French loaf bread, my fan base is going to jump tremendously. I have always used bacon recipes for my pork entry, and many of the fans have started calling me “Bacon Guy”…which is really cool. Even if I don’t win this year, which I find highly unlikely, I will have established myself as the king of extreme bacon cooking around here. When next year’s Pig Festival comes around, I will definitely be seeing more of my bacon t-shirts in the crowd.